First things first

I've been thinking about how I'm terrible at prioritizing; I mentioned this in my last post, and I noted its connection to this article that with clarity and humor explained how we can get ourselves in the mess of Signing Up For More Than We Can Handle. Duplicity represents our inauthenticity and can sometimes make difficult the possibility of real connection with God and others.

My life can be crazy at times, and I've been trying to examine why this is so and what I can do to simplify. I've noticed how my temperament plays into this. It's helpful to think about how our temperaments incline us to certain problems, though I'm certainly not trying to say that we should simply excuse our issues because "God made us that way." I think there's some balance in learning how to live out who we are - strengths and all, while being aware that often our strengths taken to an extreme become our weaknesses - while also learning how to develop the tendencies and habits that are less natural to us.** [Follow footnote after finishing the rest of the post, as definitions in the following paragraphs may help.]

In a training I took last year called Stephen Ministry and Life Skills Training, we used the temperament model of the four humors, originated in Hippocrates' time: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. An oversimplified explanation goes like this:

• Sanguines say, "Let's do it the fun way!" (They tend to be spontaneous, optimistic, but not always reliable.)
• Cholerics say, "Let's do it my way, NOW!" (At their best, they are good and natural leaders; at their worst, they are bossy and impatient.)
• Melancholies say, "Let's do it the right way." (They are organized, systematic; their perfectionistic tendencies can sometimes lead to depression. Many are very creative, musical/artistic. They are kind and sensitive.)
• Phlegmatics say, "Let's do it the easy way." (They value peace and harmony, but having the lowest energy of all the temperaments, they need a lot of rest are are often slow/sluggish at completing tasks.)
  

I've been noticing how my Sanguine-cholericness gets the best of me when it comes to priorities. My mom would always criticize me for being too ambitious when I was younger - always starting a new art project (or whatever project) and sometimes not finishing before something else caught my attention. Cholerics get energy from accomplishing a lot. On the negative side, my choleric tendency that is idealistic and optimistic imagines that I can get everything I want to get done done (this temperament can get the most done in the shortest amount of time), so I neglect to prioritize. Enter Sanguine side, who says, "Let's start with the funnest thing on the list!" (This is why I'm late to work: I want to chat, or change my outfit, or do some other creative thing, when I should just be grabbing the toast from the toaster and running.) It's not a surprise when I don't complete all that I set out to do.

So I've come up with a little assignment for myself. As much as I hate embracing the possibility that I might not finish all that I seek to accomplish, I am beginning to realize I can't do everything. I want to be able to deliver what I promise; and maybe, as hard as it is, I may need to promise less. So here's what I'm going to try. I want to be able to ask this question of myself frequently, and seek to answer it with honesty and humility:

"If I cannot complete everything on my list, which are things I cannot afford to leave unfinished?"

And I want to be able to be mature, by attending to those things first. (That little "if" at the beginning allows me to maintain a bit of optimism, while doing this. :))

So I began today, when I needed to pack a little suitcase for a short trip home. Not having much Melancholy in me makes it a drag for me to make sure I have everything whenever I pack. (Elizabeth knows how much I hate packing - and shares the same sentiment!) Sure, it's fun to remember to bring that book I've been reading or that new shirt I bought, but who wants to remember contact solution, the phone charger, important things like house keys?? (Certainly not me.) Anyway, so I asked myself the question. What will make the weekend horrible if I forgot to pack it? Yes, I should bring my camera. [I'm going to a wedding.] Yes, I should bring the map that I bothered to print (in my moment of Melancholy!). Yes, I should remember my phonewalletkeys. And after that simple little exercise, I felt much better, and took a break to listen to some music and eat some chocolate. (Sometimes I feel like a little child! I have to coax myself into doing simple things that are Good For Me. Responsible Of Me. Yeah. But it was nice to know that even if I hadn't yet decided about whether I'd bring the laptop, the other book I've been reading, another pair of jeans, I knew that it wouldn't matter too much if I did or not - I had already taken care of the essentials. Oh! How mature I felt!)

Okay, I bet half of you are relating (the Sanguines, the Phlegmatics), and the other half (Melancholies, Cholerics) are laughing at my idiosyncrasies/foibles.

Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about. What about you?

What do you think is/are your temperament(s), and how (if at all) does it affect the way you prioritize?




** Regarding trying to grow in areas of deficiency: For me, I practice Melancholy by forcing myself to clear out the dish draining rack before I wash the dishes. I practice Phlegyness by letting people speak first and share their opinions before I jump in, and by trying to offer suggestions with a "you could..." rather than a "you should..."